[arin-ppml] Revised - Editorial Change ARIN-edit-2020-9: Section 8 Editorial Clean-up

[Michael B. Williams]

+3 Bill’s edits below.

On Thu, Jul 29, 2021 at 23:02 Mattapally Technologies <
technologiesmattapally at gmail.com> wrote:

> +2 Bill’s suggested edits below
>
> On Thursday, July 29, 2021, Brian Jones <bjones at vt.edu> wrote:
>
>> +1 Bill’s suggested edits below.
>>
>>
>> > On Jul 28, 2021, at 3:43 PM, William Herrin <bill at herrin.us> wrote:
>> >
>> > On Tue, Jul 27, 2021 at 9:56 AM ARIN <info at arin.net> wrote:
>> >> In Section 8.3.:
>> >>
>> >> Under “Conditions on source of the transfer,” replace “Number
>> resources received as the result of an 8.2 transfer are out of scope for
>> the purposes of this restriction” with “This restriction does not include
>> 8.2 transfers.”
>> >
>> > Howdy,
>> >
>> > They both seem about the same to me. The replacement is less clumsy
>> > than the original but still clumsy. Just throwing out some
>> > wordsmithing here:
>> >
>> > Current;
>> >
>> > The source entity must not have received a transfer, allocation, or
>> > assignment of IPv4 number resources from ARIN for the 12 months prior
>> > to the approval of a transfer request. Number resources received as
>> > the result of an 8.2 transfer are out of scope for the purposes of
>> > this restriction.
>> >
>> > Suggested:
>> >
>> > Excluding section 8.2 transfers, the source entity must not have
>> > received a transfer, allocation, or assignment of IPv4 number
>> > resources from ARIN during the 12 months prior to the approval of a
>> > transfer request.
>> >
>> > That seems to me to flow better.
>> >
>> > Regards,
>> > Bill Herrin
>> >
>> >
>> > --
>> > William Herrin
>> > bill at herrin.us
>> > https://bill.herrin.us/
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > ARIN-PPML
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>>
>> Brian Jones
>> bjones at vt.edu
>>
>>
>>
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