[arin-ppml] Revised - Editorial Change ARIN-edit-2020-9: Section 8 Editorial Clean-up

[Mattapally Technologies]

+2 Bill’s suggested edits below

On Thursday, July 29, 2021, Brian Jones <bjones at vt.edu> wrote:

> +1 Bill’s suggested edits below.
>
>
> > On Jul 28, 2021, at 3:43 PM, William Herrin <bill at herrin.us> wrote:
> >
> > On Tue, Jul 27, 2021 at 9:56 AM ARIN <info at arin.net> wrote:
> >> In Section 8.3.:
> >>
> >> Under “Conditions on source of the transfer,” replace “Number resources
> received as the result of an 8.2 transfer are out of scope for the purposes
> of this restriction” with “This restriction does not include 8.2 transfers.”
> >
> > Howdy,
> >
> > They both seem about the same to me. The replacement is less clumsy
> > than the original but still clumsy. Just throwing out some
> > wordsmithing here:
> >
> > Current;
> >
> > The source entity must not have received a transfer, allocation, or
> > assignment of IPv4 number resources from ARIN for the 12 months prior
> > to the approval of a transfer request. Number resources received as
> > the result of an 8.2 transfer are out of scope for the purposes of
> > this restriction.
> >
> > Suggested:
> >
> > Excluding section 8.2 transfers, the source entity must not have
> > received a transfer, allocation, or assignment of IPv4 number
> > resources from ARIN during the 12 months prior to the approval of a
> > transfer request.
> >
> > That seems to me to flow better.
> >
> > Regards,
> > Bill Herrin
> >
> >
> > --
> > William Herrin
> > bill at herrin.us
> > https://bill.herrin.us/
> > _______________________________________________
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>
> Brian Jones
> bjones at vt.edu
>
>
>
>
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