[arin-ppml] Draft Policy ARIN-2013-4: RIR Principles - revised

[David Farmer]

My first reaction is I mostly like the update, but I immediately see a 
few nits;

On 7/8/13 16:34 , ARIN wrote:
...
> Draft Policy ARIN-2013-4
> RIR Principles
>
> Policy Statement (v2 8 July 2013):
>
> Section 0: Principles and Goals of the Internet Registry System
>
> 0.1. Registration

Both Registration & Conservation are identified as sub-sections 0.1.

> The principle of registration guarantees the uniqueness of Internet
> number resources.
>
> Provision of this public registry documenting Internet number resource
> allocation, reallocation, assignment, and reassignment is necessary:
>
> a) to ensure uniqueness and to to provide operational staff with
> information on who is using each number resource,

There is an implied and between each of these, so make a) a compound 
clause seems unnecessary and somewhat confusing.  I'd suggest split a) 
into two, shifting the rest down, proving;

a) to ensure uniqueness,
b) to provide operational staff with information on who is using each 
number resource,

This provides more punch to a) and just seems cleaner.

> b) to provide a contact in case of operational/security problems,
> c) to provide the transparency required to ensure that Internet number
> resources are efficiently utilized, and
> d) to assist in IP allocation studies.
>
> 0.1. Conservation

Again, both Registration & Conservation are identified as sub-sections 
0.1.  I'd suggest making Conservation sub-sections 0.2, and shifting the 
rest down.

...

-- 
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David Farmer               Email: farmer at umn.edu
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University of Minnesota
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