[arin-ppml] Revised - Editorial Change ARIN-edit-2020-9: Section 8 Editorial Clean-up

[John Santos]

+1

On 7/28/2021 4:28 PM, Chris Woodfield wrote:
> I’m in favor of Bill’s suggested wording as well - as is, the second sentence qualifies the first, so it makes sense to make it a qualifier clause within that sentence.
> 
> -C
> 
>> On Jul 28, 2021, at 1:21 PM, scott at solarnetone.org wrote:
>>
>> Hi All,
>>
>> +1
>>
>> Scott Johnson
>>
>> On Wed, 28 Jul 2021, Mike Burns wrote:
>>
>>> Hello,
>>>
>>> I concur that Bill's changes make the text flow better.
>>>
>>> Regards,
>>> Mike Burns
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: ARIN-PPML <arin-ppml-bounces at arin.net> On Behalf Of William Herrin
>>> Sent: Wednesday, July 28, 2021 3:43 PM
>>> Cc: ARIN-PPML List <arin-ppml at arin.net>
>>> Subject: Re: [arin-ppml] Revised - Editorial Change ARIN-edit-2020-9: Section 8 Editorial Clean-up
>>>
>>> On Tue, Jul 27, 2021 at 9:56 AM ARIN <info at arin.net> wrote:
>>>> In Section 8.3.:
>>>>
>>>> Under “Conditions on source of the transfer,” replace “Number resources received as the result of an 8.2 transfer are out of scope for the purposes of this restriction” with “This restriction does not include 8.2 transfers.”
>>>
>>> Howdy,
>>>
>>> They both seem about the same to me. The replacement is less clumsy than the original but still clumsy. Just throwing out some wordsmithing here:
>>>
>>> Current;
>>>
>>> The source entity must not have received a transfer, allocation, or assignment of IPv4 number resources from ARIN for the 12 months prior to the approval of a transfer request. Number resources received as the result of an 8.2 transfer are out of scope for the purposes of this restriction.
>>>
>>> Suggested:
>>>
>>> Excluding section 8.2 transfers, the source entity must not have received a transfer, allocation, or assignment of IPv4 number resources from ARIN during the 12 months prior to the approval of a transfer request.
>>>
>>> That seems to me to flow better.
>>>
>>> Regards,
>>> Bill Herrin
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> William Herrin
>>> bill at herrin.us
>>> https://bill.herrin.us/
>>> _______________________________________________
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>> _______________________________________________
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> 
> _______________________________________________
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-- 
John Santos
Evans Griffiths & Hart, Inc.
781-861-0670 ext 539