[arin-ppml] Draft Policy ARIN-2013-4: RIR Principles - revised

[Chris Grundemann]

Thanks David, I think those are both good editorial changes that need
to be made in any subsequent version.

~Chris



On Mon, Jul 8, 2013 at 4:10 PM, David Farmer <farmer at umn.edu> wrote:
> On 7/8/13 17:02 , David Farmer wrote:
>>
>> My first reaction is I mostly like the update, but I immediately see a
>> few nits;
>
>
> I launched my first reaction a little too soon; more below.
>
>
>> On 7/8/13 16:34 , ARIN wrote:
>> ...
>>>
>>> Draft Policy ARIN-2013-4
>>> RIR Principles
>>>
>>> Policy Statement (v2 8 July 2013):
>>>
>>> Section 0: Principles and Goals of the Internet Registry System
>>>
>>> 0.1. Registration
>>
>>
>> Both Registration & Conservation are identified as sub-sections 0.1.
>>
>>> The principle of registration guarantees the uniqueness of Internet
>>> number resources.
>>>
>>> Provision of this public registry documenting Internet number resource
>>> allocation, reallocation, assignment, and reassignment is necessary:
>>>
>>> a) to ensure uniqueness and to to provide operational staff with
>>> information on who is using each number resource,
>>
>>
>> There is an implied and between each of these, so make a) a compound
>> clause seems unnecessary and somewhat confusing.  I'd suggest split a)
>> into two, shifting the rest down, proving;
>>
>> a) to ensure uniqueness,
>> b) to provide operational staff with information on who is using each
>> number resource,
>>
>> This provides more punch to a) and just seems cleaner.
>>
>>> b) to provide a contact in case of operational/security problems,
>>> c) to provide the transparency required to ensure that Internet number
>>> resources are efficiently utilized, and
>>> d) to assist in IP allocation studies.
>
>
> It's even worse that I initially saw, the second clause of a) duplicates b)
>
> so it should be;
>
> a) to ensure uniqueness,
>
> b) to provide a contact in case of operational/security problems,
> c) to provide the transparency required to ensure that Internet number
> resources are efficiently utilized, and
> d) to assist in IP allocation studies.
>
>>> 0.1. Conservation
>>
>>
>> Again, both Registration & Conservation are identified as sub-sections
>> 0.1.  I'd suggest making Conservation sub-sections 0.2, and shifting the
>> rest down.
>>
>> ...
>>
>
>
> --
> ================================================
> David Farmer               Email: farmer at umn.edu
> Office of Information Technology
> University of Minnesota
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-- 
@ChrisGrundemann
http://chrisgrundemann.com